I once had a monkey steal $10 in currency from my bikini top while at a tourist stop on the Amazon River. (I had the bill tucked inside and it saw it.) I never got it back because, after all, who wants to fight a monkey? That's the sum of the story.
For your edfication, here's a story about an octopus who stole a camera: http://vimeo.com/10966874
Monday, April 19, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Nothing Better Than a Hot Fresh Muffin!
A tradition I have started in my family is making muffins. Actually, it's not so much that we make them, but I make them and now that I have brain-washed my kids into thinking that there is nothing better than a hot, fresh muffin for a hungry tummy, I'd like to think of it as a tradition. In addition to being something that will remind them of their mother long after they have left home, I feel like I have found a way to counter my paranoia of them eating processed food 3 meals a day. I know what goes into them, and sugar aside, it's a pretty good bunch of stuff. So, every third weekend or so I make muffins. I freeze them and we pull them out for breakfast, snacks or quick meals-on-the go.
Whole Grain Muffins
4 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup ground flax seeds
5 tsp Baking Soda
2/3 box of bran flakes (I use Total cereal)
3 cups sugar
1 cup 5 grain cereal soaked in 1 c hot water for 30 minutes prior to adding to the mix
5 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
1 quart buttermilk
Mix in large bowl. Fill greased and floured muffin tins and bake at 350 until done.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
25 Random Things AKA Topics for My Blog
1. I love being a mother.
2. Being on Facebook has made me question my life's decisions - er rather, is motivating me to pursue the things I always thought I would but never did. Or maybeit's just time for me to conduct a mid-life retrospective...
3. If I had known about scooters in college, I probably would have bought one and driven it at 40 miles per hour between Decorah and wherever I needed to go.
4. I have terrible allergies.
5. I sometimes feel faint when I get a shot or when talking about medical procedures.
6. I'm considering allergy shots. If you read numbers 5 & 6 you know that my desperation must outweigh my fear of passing out!
7. Years after seeing a movie, I can see the same movie again and think to myself, "This seems familiar... I wonder if I've seen it?"
8. Chocolate is my favorite "food" and as a purist, I believe it shouldn't be mixed with fruit, liqueur, or creams...
9. My favorite exercise is walking stairs while listening to salsa music. Don't do it anymore though...
10. I enjoy Nordic Walking.
11. In 7th grade I sang "Feelings" in Spanish for extra credit (ie. I have no pride, but do have some chutzpah) and in 5th grade I sang, "God Bless America" for the Hampton Flag Raising ceremony, at the time the tallest flagpole in Minnesota. I still have a letter from Steve Sviggum who commented on me being more nervous about falling off the milk crate they'd put up for me to stand on than singing...
12. I have a favorite mug. If you ask me about it, I could tell you its many merits.
13. I miss speaking Portuguese and Spanish.
14. I once directed traffic at Xfest.
15. No matter how hard I try, I just can't tell a joke well.
16. Bitter and sweet are two words to describe my life. Good seems to be tempered with bad more often than not. Yet, I consider myself an optimist. I just have to work at it sometimes.
17. I love to star-gaze, especially when the city lights and sounds aren't there to distract from the purity of the night sky and the serenity of nature.
18. The internet has improved my life exponentially. What I don't know, I can always look up and usually find. And every day reinforces that fact that I don't know an awful lot.
19. I believe that there are many paths to the same destination.
20. I would like to go to Machu Pichu someday and also to return to Brazil with my husband and children.
21. On that vein, I don't know how returning will affect me emotionally - the poverty of children in particular will be challenging, especially now that a/I'm older b/I have my own children/have gained mother's perspective of the world. Update 2014: Returned in 2012 with my family. Things have changed. For the better. And with it, progress brings its own challenges. Another topic for another day.
22. I flew in the cockpit of a NWA cargo plane as the care-taker for a dozen horses going from Minneapolis to Japan.
23. In 1997 I lived in Venezuela - 8 months of intensity good and bad.
24. I've worked in IT for almost 20 years now. I was an English major and music minor. Believe it or not, my education and profession do not conflict with eachother.
25. Sometimes I think I wear a sign on my forehead that says, "Walk up to me, start a conversation under the pretense of being friendly, and then tell me something really weird or offensive." Really. I could tell stories.
2. Being on Facebook has made me question my life's decisions - er rather, is motivating me to pursue the things I always thought I would but never did. Or maybeit's just time for me to conduct a mid-life retrospective...
3. If I had known about scooters in college, I probably would have bought one and driven it at 40 miles per hour between Decorah and wherever I needed to go.
4. I have terrible allergies.
5. I sometimes feel faint when I get a shot or when talking about medical procedures.
6. I'm considering allergy shots. If you read numbers 5 & 6 you know that my desperation must outweigh my fear of passing out!
7. Years after seeing a movie, I can see the same movie again and think to myself, "This seems familiar... I wonder if I've seen it?"
8. Chocolate is my favorite "food" and as a purist, I believe it shouldn't be mixed with fruit, liqueur, or creams...
9. My favorite exercise is walking stairs while listening to salsa music. Don't do it anymore though...
10. I enjoy Nordic Walking.
11. In 7th grade I sang "Feelings" in Spanish for extra credit (ie. I have no pride, but do have some chutzpah) and in 5th grade I sang, "God Bless America" for the Hampton Flag Raising ceremony, at the time the tallest flagpole in Minnesota. I still have a letter from Steve Sviggum who commented on me being more nervous about falling off the milk crate they'd put up for me to stand on than singing...
12. I have a favorite mug. If you ask me about it, I could tell you its many merits.
13. I miss speaking Portuguese and Spanish.
14. I once directed traffic at Xfest.
15. No matter how hard I try, I just can't tell a joke well.
16. Bitter and sweet are two words to describe my life. Good seems to be tempered with bad more often than not. Yet, I consider myself an optimist. I just have to work at it sometimes.
17. I love to star-gaze, especially when the city lights and sounds aren't there to distract from the purity of the night sky and the serenity of nature.
18. The internet has improved my life exponentially. What I don't know, I can always look up and usually find. And every day reinforces that fact that I don't know an awful lot.
19. I believe that there are many paths to the same destination.
20. I would like to go to Machu Pichu someday and also to return to Brazil with my husband and children.
21. On that vein, I don't know how returning will affect me emotionally - the poverty of children in particular will be challenging, especially now that a/I'm older b/I have my own children/have gained mother's perspective of the world. Update 2014: Returned in 2012 with my family. Things have changed. For the better. And with it, progress brings its own challenges. Another topic for another day.
22. I flew in the cockpit of a NWA cargo plane as the care-taker for a dozen horses going from Minneapolis to Japan.
23. In 1997 I lived in Venezuela - 8 months of intensity good and bad.
24. I've worked in IT for almost 20 years now. I was an English major and music minor. Believe it or not, my education and profession do not conflict with eachother.
25. Sometimes I think I wear a sign on my forehead that says, "Walk up to me, start a conversation under the pretense of being friendly, and then tell me something really weird or offensive." Really. I could tell stories.
Discussion Topic - Advanced Education
I broughtthis into my blog from my Facebook page - There are way too many threads here, but it is definitely fodder for discussion. I would love to hear your thoughts, even if just one question is something that makes you go, "hmmmmm..."
I preface this note saying that I believe my four year degree was a good use of my time and money. Probably should have gone on for a masters and still could, but that's another note. Anyway, the assumption I'm starting with is based on my belief that an advanced degree, especially as we compete for our jobs on a global level, if not already, will be a prerequisite for a well-paying career. That said...
What advanced education do you think young adults should get these days?
What questions should this based on?
Should ability to repay loans or get immediate employment be a consideration?
Do you think razor sharp skills in one area trump the skills gained by a liberal arts or diverse background?
I personally have found my career journey a longer one given my college degrees in English and Spanish. I would gladly trade the the many tables I waited on and phones I answered for a more enriching start to my career. It was a rough many years - that was the hard part. On the other hand, I wouldn't trade my degrees for anything. I've found that the skills I acquired as a result of a liberal arts background allows me to bring a different perspective to my work. I like to think of it as rounding out the edges, especially in IT where needle-sharp technical knowledge is expected.
More questions...
If we move in a direction requiring specialization quickly, could we as a society give up an edge? Has diversity in educational backgrounds, at least in business, been a cornerstone of our success as a society? Or is it something else that makes our country thrive? If we changed our mindsets to guiding our young adults into non-liberal arts educations what are the implications long term?
Thanks for reading and responding!
I preface this note saying that I believe my four year degree was a good use of my time and money. Probably should have gone on for a masters and still could, but that's another note. Anyway, the assumption I'm starting with is based on my belief that an advanced degree, especially as we compete for our jobs on a global level, if not already, will be a prerequisite for a well-paying career. That said...
What advanced education do you think young adults should get these days?
What questions should this based on?
Should ability to repay loans or get immediate employment be a consideration?
Do you think razor sharp skills in one area trump the skills gained by a liberal arts or diverse background?
I personally have found my career journey a longer one given my college degrees in English and Spanish. I would gladly trade the the many tables I waited on and phones I answered for a more enriching start to my career. It was a rough many years - that was the hard part. On the other hand, I wouldn't trade my degrees for anything. I've found that the skills I acquired as a result of a liberal arts background allows me to bring a different perspective to my work. I like to think of it as rounding out the edges, especially in IT where needle-sharp technical knowledge is expected.
More questions...
If we move in a direction requiring specialization quickly, could we as a society give up an edge? Has diversity in educational backgrounds, at least in business, been a cornerstone of our success as a society? Or is it something else that makes our country thrive? If we changed our mindsets to guiding our young adults into non-liberal arts educations what are the implications long term?
Thanks for reading and responding!
Facebook Protocol
Just learned today about Facebook protocol when breaking up. Did you know you are supposed to remove the tags to photos of X's, the digital equivalent of taking down pictures of previous lovers from the walls of your apartment? Either I'm getting old, or my friends are keeping me young.
Review - The Thirteenth Tale - Diane Setterfield
On a rating scale of 1 - 10 with 1 being low and 10 high; I put this at an 8. I must say I wasn't bored reading it. The storyline had some very good twists and vivid characters. The story is about a reclusive, prolific writer who hires an equally reclusive book-worm to listen to her life story with the intent of producing an authorized biography. Something has haunted the dying writer and the story unfolds at her pace, a pace which had enough darkness and interesting twists to keep me reading. The dialogue between the biographer and the biographer at the beginning was stiltled, but as the aging woman settled into telling the story, the prose was easy-going and even poetic. I give this book a high rating because I didn't see the obvious answer to the unfolding mystery. For that, kudos to the author - it bumped my rating up from a 7 to an 8.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
"Just Drop a Nuclear Bomb" - ????
At work today, I was speaking with a co-worker who was new to me and joked about trying to solve a data security issue by good-faith in employees alone. I suppose I opened up the opportunity by my likening justifying the ROI on the investment into data security to proving there were no WMD's in Iraq. It's very difficult to prove a negative. It is infinitely easier to justify data security after you have been fined hundreds of thousands of dollars; it's easier to prove when there's something tangible than when you don't.
What ensued was a "Yes, instead of looking for the WMDs, we could have just dropped 85Billion and a nuclear bomb and taken care of the whole mess. Problem solved."
How do you respond to that? And better yet, "what good could come of any of my responses other than to make him uncomfortable?" I swiftly changed the subject to the actual topic of our meeting.
Once again (if you know me, you know that strangers will say the darndest things to me...), I was left feeling shocked, but not awed. I'm glad it's out there though. I have a good sense of where he stands and more importantly, what topics to avoid in the future -- at least in the office.
What ensued was a "Yes, instead of looking for the WMDs, we could have just dropped 85Billion and a nuclear bomb and taken care of the whole mess. Problem solved."
How do you respond to that? And better yet, "what good could come of any of my responses other than to make him uncomfortable?" I swiftly changed the subject to the actual topic of our meeting.
Once again (if you know me, you know that strangers will say the darndest things to me...), I was left feeling shocked, but not awed. I'm glad it's out there though. I have a good sense of where he stands and more importantly, what topics to avoid in the future -- at least in the office.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Jonah Varc
Last night my 7 year old and I were reading her children’s encyclopedia. We recently saw a movie that featured the character of Joan of Arc in it so, I suggested we look her up in the encyclopedia.
I started under “J” – No Joan.
Then I went to the “A” section. She was very confused.
“Why the A’s, Mommy?”
“Because her last name was Arc.”
“No. It can’t be. Her last name was Varc.”
“Huh?”
“Her name is Jonah Varc. Because what kind of middle name is ‘of?’ Try looking under the V’s. It’s gotta be there.”
We turned the V section.
“It should be right there, between Van Gogh and Vegetables.”
“Honey, I promise you her name was Joan of Arc. Arc was her last name. Either way, she doesn’t appear to be in your encyclopedia.”
She accepted my statement with a sigh. I don’t think she believed me.
I started under “J” – No Joan.
Then I went to the “A” section. She was very confused.
“Why the A’s, Mommy?”
“Because her last name was Arc.”
“No. It can’t be. Her last name was Varc.”
“Huh?”
“Her name is Jonah Varc. Because what kind of middle name is ‘of?’ Try looking under the V’s. It’s gotta be there.”
We turned the V section.
“It should be right there, between Van Gogh and Vegetables.”
“Honey, I promise you her name was Joan of Arc. Arc was her last name. Either way, she doesn’t appear to be in your encyclopedia.”
She accepted my statement with a sigh. I don’t think she believed me.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
My Favorite Mug
I don't have many favorites, but I'm working on it. Perhaps it comes of being fairly demanding of myself and others. A good thing and a bad thing I'd say, but that's for another posting.
Getting back to the topic at hand, I have a favorite mug. If you go to eBay and search for a Denby tankard mug, you may have the luck of finding one for $50 or more. I have 3 and they are all beautiful. I've only got one of this pattern so if you come to my house and have coffee or tea and you are offered it in this mug, consider yourself in. Anyway, they don't make this model anymore, which is a crying shame.
The reason my mug is so special is that it is the perfect shape and size for a petite adult's hands. The base fits in my hands like it was made for me alone. There's nothing like sipping hot tea on a cold day holding a warm mug like it is an extension of your body. The shape is bowled, tapering at the top, which lets heat out sparingly. The best part is the shape of the rim. It's a sensuous experience to drink from my mug - the gentle slope allows me to place my lower lip under it while the rim above isn't so large that the beverage dumps out, instead flowing smoothly, nourishingly into my mouth.
Call me strange, that's fine - I've been called worse things. I do know one thing for sure, I love my mug.
Getting back to the topic at hand, I have a favorite mug. If you go to eBay and search for a Denby tankard mug, you may have the luck of finding one for $50 or more. I have 3 and they are all beautiful. I've only got one of this pattern so if you come to my house and have coffee or tea and you are offered it in this mug, consider yourself in. Anyway, they don't make this model anymore, which is a crying shame.
The reason my mug is so special is that it is the perfect shape and size for a petite adult's hands. The base fits in my hands like it was made for me alone. There's nothing like sipping hot tea on a cold day holding a warm mug like it is an extension of your body. The shape is bowled, tapering at the top, which lets heat out sparingly. The best part is the shape of the rim. It's a sensuous experience to drink from my mug - the gentle slope allows me to place my lower lip under it while the rim above isn't so large that the beverage dumps out, instead flowing smoothly, nourishingly into my mouth.Call me strange, that's fine - I've been called worse things. I do know one thing for sure, I love my mug.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Laughter Yoga
For the past month I have been trying laughter yoga.
To set the record straight, laughter yoga does not involve getting into a stretching position and laughing instead of focusing on breathing. Instead, the class is a series of actions designed to help you pretend to laugh. For example, one exercise is to mime blowing bubbles and instead of blowing air through the loop you laugh shyly.
The rules are to laugh responsibly (no new pain); no talking; engage with others through eye contact; and have fun.
Doctor Kataria, the founder, has done extensive research on the medical benefits of laughter yoga. While laughter is the best medicine, he's discovered that laughter yoga is the second-best medicine.
The class is not for the insecure, self-conscious or intolerant (technically, it is for anyone...) Once I got past the silliness, it was liberating. The physical effects are many - I sleep more soundly; I feel the post laughter endorphin rush; and during the laughter meditation I've found a way to release my emotions-whatever is brewing that day or stored up for the week. I'm going to keep it up and see what becomes of it!
To set the record straight, laughter yoga does not involve getting into a stretching position and laughing instead of focusing on breathing. Instead, the class is a series of actions designed to help you pretend to laugh. For example, one exercise is to mime blowing bubbles and instead of blowing air through the loop you laugh shyly.
The rules are to laugh responsibly (no new pain); no talking; engage with others through eye contact; and have fun.
Doctor Kataria, the founder, has done extensive research on the medical benefits of laughter yoga. While laughter is the best medicine, he's discovered that laughter yoga is the second-best medicine.
The class is not for the insecure, self-conscious or intolerant (technically, it is for anyone...) Once I got past the silliness, it was liberating. The physical effects are many - I sleep more soundly; I feel the post laughter endorphin rush; and during the laughter meditation I've found a way to release my emotions-whatever is brewing that day or stored up for the week. I'm going to keep it up and see what becomes of it!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Why Nuggets?
When I lived in South America, the contortions my host family and friends endured to say my first name made me think it might be easier if they called me by my last name. So, I asked them to call me by my apellido in Spanish. They don't speak Spanish in Brazil. Apellido sounds like "apelido" which means nickname in Portuguese. The long and short of it is I was presented with a long list of options and I am known by Pepita in Brazil. It wasn't until 1998 that I learned that pepita has a meaning other than the name of a famous Brazilian at the time. It means nugget in Portuguese. So, while I offer you these random thoughts, the double entendre is intentional - an homage to another life and what I hope are valuable insights in this one.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Rectocele Recovery; TVT Recovery - The Ugly and The Good
I must qualify this blog entry. Please read only if you meet the one of the following criterion: You are a woman who is considering a stress urinary incontinence or a rectocele repair surgery who would like to know about my recovery experience; a partner of someone considering the aforementioned procedures who would insight on how to be empathetic to what is happening to your partner before and after a procedure; a surgeon who performs one of the procedures (same reason as previously stated); or someone who is curious about this type of surgery. At any rate, proceeding with reading this implies that you will not make any inconsiderate or perverse comments and really, if this type of information is TMI, don't think about reading any more.
The reason I am posting this is I found little information about the recovery from these procedures online. So many women have asked me about the procedures that I'm thinking this entry would be helpful to them. I am hoping that by sharing, I can provide a little window into the days after the surgery for others, as well as my thoughts on if the experience from my perspective was worthwhile.
This past winter I had two procedures performed, a TVT sling for stress incontinence (I can't remember what initial they gave it - an O perhaps?), what I liken to propping up my bladder/urethra in a hammock and a rectocele repair. The former, at least at this stage of the game, is the best thing "I've done" in years. The latter is still in the air, but I have achieved some of the intended benefits and am still healing. Once again, please do not read or comment if you are immature, squeamish, or a pervert.
----
Background
It started a long time ago, but basically, voiding has always been a problem. (That's the euphemism you get to use at the Dr.'s office...) It got worse - bothersome and embarrassing after babies. In birthing classes, they don't tell you about possible side effects of childbirth. (Although, it appears the docs don't think that birthing could be the cause, but then again, these same physicians are taught that teething isn't painful for babies...) So, for years, I thought leaking while standing and having problems pooh-ing was something I had to live with, even having one doctor tell me that aging is a process and we all have to suffer the inconveniences associated. Jerk. Then another doctor asked me point blank why I hadn't had the surgery and all I could offer was that I was ignorant, scared, unprepared, too busy, and/or hadn't put much thought into it. As well-thought out as that reasoning is, I think my actual response was, "Hmm, just haven't gotten around to it I guess..."
The first gyno told me that along with the TVT surgery, I might need to have my uterus removed. After research on the Internet (thank God for that) I learned that my uterus and rectocele and/or bladder problems didn't necessarily have anything to do with eachother; I needed another opinion. So, more researching and I self- referred to a doc who was rated highly on local sites for pelvic floor problems. He was great - very kind; very forthright about my situation; took the time needed to make me feel comfortable + his glasses were really cool, and most importantly, he agreed my uterus wouldn't need to come out. Sold.
I'm going to skip the tests (yes, stirrups were involved; yes, voiding both 1 and 2 in front of medical personnel was involved...although I can't say if every OB requires that as I know my doc does studies), the biofeedback my doc asked me to get (OMG, that was an eye opener - literally), and talk about the process and the recovery.
The process involved some testing (see above) followed by a consult with my doctor who told me my options. He gave me an anatomy lesson and told me what my problems were and what could be done to solve them.
My only challenge is that the doc thought I was a more knowledgeable than I was. I always come with a list of questions - the type "A" in me. So, I had indeed done extensive research on the net, but not on the solutions. There comes a point when the internet is counterproductive, especially when you are accessing it at work and content that could get you fired comes up onscreen. It happened for me when I saw the rectocele surgery pics which were graphic; they were more a trigger for an anxiety attack and potential violation of use of my work computer (I pity anyone who checked on my site visits...) Anyway, there are several forms of slings - my doctor asked me to think about the type I wanted. I "chose" the one he recommended, because while interested, I'm not a doctor. I digress. The point is, if you find a knowledgeable doctor and trust his/her training, then let him/her make the recommendation and stop the internet research... There comes a time to let go and trust.
Because I had 2 procedures, I'll break the surgery and recovery into two sections - the bladder section and the "rectocele" portion. If you are wanting to know how to be supportive, you can skip to the end
Bladder - TVT for Stress Incontinence
The UglyI had been told the recovery for the TVT could be as few as a couple of days. When I was able to walk shortly after the surgery, I was asked to urinate. I was told it would be normal for the urine to ebb and flow because the bladder would be acclimating to its new position. On peeing successfully and a sufficient amount, I was sent home. The flow of urine continued to be a bit erratic for 2 days and then returned to normal. For me, one thigh was fine the day of surgery and continued to feel great thereafter. My other thigh, however, felt like someone had taken a club to it. I struggled to get in and out of bed the first few days. Then, it got better. Not great, but better. It took 5 days for that pain to ease, about 10 days to walk without concentrating through it, and 4 weeks for the discomfort to ebb. I'm on week 7 and I have no achiness anymore. My guess is there are a number of variables which mean everyone's experience will be different.
The Good
In the meantime, my life has changed completely. The first time I sneezed, I felt the usual panic. I squeezed my thighs together, felt dread, and then had a liberating feeling - absolutely no urgency, no leaks. I've had repeated moments like this - dread followed by relief until I've started to trust that what had been a problem for 1/3 of my life was not a problem anymore. It's a bit like culture shock - you notice what is shocking at first, but then it gradually becomes an acceptable part of your life. I'm more relaxed. I can walk great distances without worry. I don't gauge my activities by proximity to bathrooms. I don't shower multiple times during the day. I don't avoid strenuous activities because I'm worried I'll smell bad. I'm exercising with confidence. I've tried laughter yoga and I can approach it without fear. I'm down one size and will keep up the progress now that I relish the freedom of movement again... I feel like I have a new perspective on life. Worth it? Yes, and then some.
The RectoceleThe Ugly
This is graphic, so be forewarned and skip to the "The Good" section if you are squeamish!
I was told my rectocele was small-ish. I didn't want to hear much more after seeing the pics of what they look like online, so I let it drop and didn't ask too many questions (I'm sure that's up for debate, but again I digress...) In sum, they go in through the vagina, fold the tissue and sew it up. And that's where I left it.
After the surgery, I was told that I would need to wear pads. I wasn't prepared for the first hours after the surgery. There was a LOT of blood. This lasted for the first few hours and by the next day was much better.
It took forever to get my bowels moving and 4 days into recovery, 3 stool softeners and 3 laxatives later, I had a very painful bm which felt like I opened some stitches. The doc checked and said things still looked good. Lesson? Do what you can to have soft stool after the surgery because it really did hurt and I think lengthened my recovery by at least a couple of days.
Pain? Yes. I decided to err on the side of more meds than not that first week. So, honestly, I slept the first 3 days, off and on, watching a Brazilian telenovela in fast forward when I got tired of the same adultress lying to her husband for 10 hours straight... I liken the pain (not the soap opera but the surgery) to having someone rub sandpaper on your inner cheek. It burned a lot. It felt like I was sitting on that sandpaper for about four weeks, with it getting a bit better every day. I did force myself to use the treadmill every day starting on day 3, walking slowly in a medicated stupor. I am guessing that it did me good, but can't say for sure. Sitting was a bit of a challenge the first 2 weeks- I should have returned to work using a donut, but didn't and regretted it every night until week 3.
For the first 4 weeks, there was a lot of discharge, starting with blood and turning into a yellow-ish somewhat smelly substance. I know what a relief diaper cream is for babies with sore bottoms... If you have this surgery, plan on using it for between your cheeks - it saved my sanity. I was well enough to start work 14 days after surgery, however I felt that I probably started too soon. My chair at work is hard and sitting all day on a pad was a uncomfortable/burned, while walking up and down stairs was tiring. The 3rd week was the first time I felt I could work with a clear head. Inconveniences aside, tiredness was my biggest challenge. I'm on week 7 now and while just a bit sore, am feeling good.
The GoodI draw the line at details on my new anatomy or marital life. I'm still sore. It feels a bit like I have packing towards the back. I'm told there will be scar tissue and possible loss of sensation. But, the good news is that I no longer have to suffer the "inconveniences of aging" the first doctor talked with me about. My reasoning for having this surgery was that in my old age, I really don't want to have the embarrassment of the rectocele problem if others have to take care of me. The jury is still out - it was the harder recovery of the two procedures, but overall, I think I am glad I did it.
Update - 10 weeks out. Still going well. I have some discomfort sitting on hard surfaces and have rectal pain, but the doc assured me this is normal. I have read many posts about nightmarish results after a rectocele surgery. What I am taking from this experience is that I had a doctor who is good at what he does. In this world, the bell curve reins supreme, so I recommend, as with any major influence in your life, shop around and find a surgeon with a good reputation for positive outcomes. Ask how many surgeries of this type your surgeon has performed. Ask about the recovery period for his/her patients. My doctor said it would be 1 - 2 week's recovery. That was a bit optimistic, but perhaps it would have been the case had I been able to focus entirely on my recovery, but family obligations prevented me from doing so. I have a feeling my research took me to a great doctor given my positive experience - a quick recovery compared to the 6 - 8 weeks I have seen posted, and few complaints to date. I have a friend considering the surgery and I've asked her to see my doc instead of her own. In sum, my experience has been a good one.
Update 4 years later... I think the surgery helped. I am 50/50 if I would recommend it for someone else. The doctor who offered a second opinion originally suggested that controlling what I eat so I wouldn't ever get constipated had a good suggestion. Unfortunately, that isn't my reality. That non-surgical option makes sense and I would definitely suggest trying that first. Physically, the tissues have relaxed or stretched a bit. I still occasionally have to help push out stool, but not as frequently as before. I have areas of tissue which are not exactly tender, but definitely don't feel great either.This far out it's hard to say if the surgery was worthwhile. I wouldn't do it again, but think my objectives were met. It's not a magic bullet - so keep your expectations in line.
Planning for the Surgeries
For the TVT, not much planning is needed other than to follow the instructions they give you and plan for a longer recovery than 2 - 7 days. If you have the leg pain I did, returning to work 7 days after the surgery would have been very difficult. If it goes great, then you have covered your bases.
For the rectocele repair surgery, purchase night-time pads for wearing in bed and diaper cream for reasons mentioned above. Purchase stool softener to try and prevent constipation, especially the first few days after the surgery. Purchase ibuprofen. Purchase 5 weeks of pads for daily wear, with the first week being a steadier, heavier flow. Plan on not lifting kids or heavy items for as long as the surgeon specifies. Take warm baths or use the sitz bath stuff you can get from a pharmacy. Plan to get enough sleep. Plan on walking each day. Take the pain meds if you need them; or just ibuprofen as needed.
Being Supportive of Your Partner
Stay informed - ask her what she's going through. It can be an emotional process. Ask what's going to happen. Show interest in her, the process and her recovery. Plan on at least 2 weeks before she's really able to return to normal life. She may look great, but remember, she's recovering from surgery and may tire easily. Make her healthy meals. Remind her to walk around - the exercise is good for her or take a walk with her. Make sure she has water by her bedside. Monitor her meds that first week - help her manage the pain. Take care of the day-to-day for 2 weeks - give her the time she needs to recover. Help her up and down from the bed if it is painful or put a stool by the bed. Give her privacy in the bathroom. Ask her how she's feeling and what she's feeling. Those are my ideas for a starter. When the time comes for intimacy, be gentle and understanding.
Fin
If you have stuck with me through this lengthy blog, good for you. I hope that you found it informative. It's probably more than anyone ever needs to know about me as it moves well into the TMI spectrum, but I'm hoping my willingness to share helps at least one person. Good luck!
The reason I am posting this is I found little information about the recovery from these procedures online. So many women have asked me about the procedures that I'm thinking this entry would be helpful to them. I am hoping that by sharing, I can provide a little window into the days after the surgery for others, as well as my thoughts on if the experience from my perspective was worthwhile.
This past winter I had two procedures performed, a TVT sling for stress incontinence (I can't remember what initial they gave it - an O perhaps?), what I liken to propping up my bladder/urethra in a hammock and a rectocele repair. The former, at least at this stage of the game, is the best thing "I've done" in years. The latter is still in the air, but I have achieved some of the intended benefits and am still healing. Once again, please do not read or comment if you are immature, squeamish, or a pervert.
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Background
It started a long time ago, but basically, voiding has always been a problem. (That's the euphemism you get to use at the Dr.'s office...) It got worse - bothersome and embarrassing after babies. In birthing classes, they don't tell you about possible side effects of childbirth. (Although, it appears the docs don't think that birthing could be the cause, but then again, these same physicians are taught that teething isn't painful for babies...) So, for years, I thought leaking while standing and having problems pooh-ing was something I had to live with, even having one doctor tell me that aging is a process and we all have to suffer the inconveniences associated. Jerk. Then another doctor asked me point blank why I hadn't had the surgery and all I could offer was that I was ignorant, scared, unprepared, too busy, and/or hadn't put much thought into it. As well-thought out as that reasoning is, I think my actual response was, "Hmm, just haven't gotten around to it I guess..."
The first gyno told me that along with the TVT surgery, I might need to have my uterus removed. After research on the Internet (thank God for that) I learned that my uterus and rectocele and/or bladder problems didn't necessarily have anything to do with eachother; I needed another opinion. So, more researching and I self- referred to a doc who was rated highly on local sites for pelvic floor problems. He was great - very kind; very forthright about my situation; took the time needed to make me feel comfortable + his glasses were really cool, and most importantly, he agreed my uterus wouldn't need to come out. Sold.
I'm going to skip the tests (yes, stirrups were involved; yes, voiding both 1 and 2 in front of medical personnel was involved...although I can't say if every OB requires that as I know my doc does studies), the biofeedback my doc asked me to get (OMG, that was an eye opener - literally), and talk about the process and the recovery.
The process involved some testing (see above) followed by a consult with my doctor who told me my options. He gave me an anatomy lesson and told me what my problems were and what could be done to solve them.
My only challenge is that the doc thought I was a more knowledgeable than I was. I always come with a list of questions - the type "A" in me. So, I had indeed done extensive research on the net, but not on the solutions. There comes a point when the internet is counterproductive, especially when you are accessing it at work and content that could get you fired comes up onscreen. It happened for me when I saw the rectocele surgery pics which were graphic; they were more a trigger for an anxiety attack and potential violation of use of my work computer (I pity anyone who checked on my site visits...) Anyway, there are several forms of slings - my doctor asked me to think about the type I wanted. I "chose" the one he recommended, because while interested, I'm not a doctor. I digress. The point is, if you find a knowledgeable doctor and trust his/her training, then let him/her make the recommendation and stop the internet research... There comes a time to let go and trust.
Because I had 2 procedures, I'll break the surgery and recovery into two sections - the bladder section and the "rectocele" portion. If you are wanting to know how to be supportive, you can skip to the end
Bladder - TVT for Stress Incontinence
The UglyI had been told the recovery for the TVT could be as few as a couple of days. When I was able to walk shortly after the surgery, I was asked to urinate. I was told it would be normal for the urine to ebb and flow because the bladder would be acclimating to its new position. On peeing successfully and a sufficient amount, I was sent home. The flow of urine continued to be a bit erratic for 2 days and then returned to normal. For me, one thigh was fine the day of surgery and continued to feel great thereafter. My other thigh, however, felt like someone had taken a club to it. I struggled to get in and out of bed the first few days. Then, it got better. Not great, but better. It took 5 days for that pain to ease, about 10 days to walk without concentrating through it, and 4 weeks for the discomfort to ebb. I'm on week 7 and I have no achiness anymore. My guess is there are a number of variables which mean everyone's experience will be different.
The Good
In the meantime, my life has changed completely. The first time I sneezed, I felt the usual panic. I squeezed my thighs together, felt dread, and then had a liberating feeling - absolutely no urgency, no leaks. I've had repeated moments like this - dread followed by relief until I've started to trust that what had been a problem for 1/3 of my life was not a problem anymore. It's a bit like culture shock - you notice what is shocking at first, but then it gradually becomes an acceptable part of your life. I'm more relaxed. I can walk great distances without worry. I don't gauge my activities by proximity to bathrooms. I don't shower multiple times during the day. I don't avoid strenuous activities because I'm worried I'll smell bad. I'm exercising with confidence. I've tried laughter yoga and I can approach it without fear. I'm down one size and will keep up the progress now that I relish the freedom of movement again... I feel like I have a new perspective on life. Worth it? Yes, and then some.
The RectoceleThe Ugly
This is graphic, so be forewarned and skip to the "The Good" section if you are squeamish!
I was told my rectocele was small-ish. I didn't want to hear much more after seeing the pics of what they look like online, so I let it drop and didn't ask too many questions (I'm sure that's up for debate, but again I digress...) In sum, they go in through the vagina, fold the tissue and sew it up. And that's where I left it.
After the surgery, I was told that I would need to wear pads. I wasn't prepared for the first hours after the surgery. There was a LOT of blood. This lasted for the first few hours and by the next day was much better.
It took forever to get my bowels moving and 4 days into recovery, 3 stool softeners and 3 laxatives later, I had a very painful bm which felt like I opened some stitches. The doc checked and said things still looked good. Lesson? Do what you can to have soft stool after the surgery because it really did hurt and I think lengthened my recovery by at least a couple of days.
Pain? Yes. I decided to err on the side of more meds than not that first week. So, honestly, I slept the first 3 days, off and on, watching a Brazilian telenovela in fast forward when I got tired of the same adultress lying to her husband for 10 hours straight... I liken the pain (not the soap opera but the surgery) to having someone rub sandpaper on your inner cheek. It burned a lot. It felt like I was sitting on that sandpaper for about four weeks, with it getting a bit better every day. I did force myself to use the treadmill every day starting on day 3, walking slowly in a medicated stupor. I am guessing that it did me good, but can't say for sure. Sitting was a bit of a challenge the first 2 weeks- I should have returned to work using a donut, but didn't and regretted it every night until week 3.
For the first 4 weeks, there was a lot of discharge, starting with blood and turning into a yellow-ish somewhat smelly substance. I know what a relief diaper cream is for babies with sore bottoms... If you have this surgery, plan on using it for between your cheeks - it saved my sanity. I was well enough to start work 14 days after surgery, however I felt that I probably started too soon. My chair at work is hard and sitting all day on a pad was a uncomfortable/burned, while walking up and down stairs was tiring. The 3rd week was the first time I felt I could work with a clear head. Inconveniences aside, tiredness was my biggest challenge. I'm on week 7 now and while just a bit sore, am feeling good.
The GoodI draw the line at details on my new anatomy or marital life. I'm still sore. It feels a bit like I have packing towards the back. I'm told there will be scar tissue and possible loss of sensation. But, the good news is that I no longer have to suffer the "inconveniences of aging" the first doctor talked with me about. My reasoning for having this surgery was that in my old age, I really don't want to have the embarrassment of the rectocele problem if others have to take care of me. The jury is still out - it was the harder recovery of the two procedures, but overall, I think I am glad I did it.
Planning for the Surgeries
For the TVT, not much planning is needed other than to follow the instructions they give you and plan for a longer recovery than 2 - 7 days. If you have the leg pain I did, returning to work 7 days after the surgery would have been very difficult. If it goes great, then you have covered your bases.
For the rectocele repair surgery, purchase night-time pads for wearing in bed and diaper cream for reasons mentioned above. Purchase stool softener to try and prevent constipation, especially the first few days after the surgery. Purchase ibuprofen. Purchase 5 weeks of pads for daily wear, with the first week being a steadier, heavier flow. Plan on not lifting kids or heavy items for as long as the surgeon specifies. Take warm baths or use the sitz bath stuff you can get from a pharmacy. Plan to get enough sleep. Plan on walking each day. Take the pain meds if you need them; or just ibuprofen as needed.
Being Supportive of Your Partner
Stay informed - ask her what she's going through. It can be an emotional process. Ask what's going to happen. Show interest in her, the process and her recovery. Plan on at least 2 weeks before she's really able to return to normal life. She may look great, but remember, she's recovering from surgery and may tire easily. Make her healthy meals. Remind her to walk around - the exercise is good for her or take a walk with her. Make sure she has water by her bedside. Monitor her meds that first week - help her manage the pain. Take care of the day-to-day for 2 weeks - give her the time she needs to recover. Help her up and down from the bed if it is painful or put a stool by the bed. Give her privacy in the bathroom. Ask her how she's feeling and what she's feeling. Those are my ideas for a starter. When the time comes for intimacy, be gentle and understanding.
Fin
If you have stuck with me through this lengthy blog, good for you. I hope that you found it informative. It's probably more than anyone ever needs to know about me as it moves well into the TMI spectrum, but I'm hoping my willingness to share helps at least one person. Good luck!
Facebook Friends
My first foray into online blogging starts with a commentary on FB friends.
In grade school, I hated the feeling of leaving someone off my party list. My mother indulged large parties, thank goodness, or I don't know how I would have coped. I still feel the need to embrace everyone. Facebook, it seems, has capitalized on the concept of letting everyone in. While I know deep down that my circle of friends is quite small (sadly small I sometimes feel) I get a sense of comfort in keeping tabs on other peoples' lives - Vicarious living, so to speak.
So, I accept friend requests. As long as I'm careful, there's probably no harm. And, it's fun to find out about other peoples' lives.
I've only once thought of deleting a friend - the one person who moved my ranking from 2nd for Scramble down to 3rd. It was actually my son's suggestion, "Why can't you just delete him, Mommy?" "Because that would be petty even though I really want to..." I've since found myself sitting in 6th place, so I've gotten over the unhealthy competition, or maybe just have accepted my limits. Strangely enough, that same person must have deleted me - I only found out when I climbed from 3rd to 2nd and he'd dropped off the rankings and into the "Suggested Friends" list. I question his motivation.
All this goes to say that the FB friends feature has provoked quite a few thoughts on connections, filters, vicarious living, etc. At best, I feel more connected to the world. At worst, all my many friends lull me into a false sense of acceptance in the world. Cheers!
In grade school, I hated the feeling of leaving someone off my party list. My mother indulged large parties, thank goodness, or I don't know how I would have coped. I still feel the need to embrace everyone. Facebook, it seems, has capitalized on the concept of letting everyone in. While I know deep down that my circle of friends is quite small (sadly small I sometimes feel) I get a sense of comfort in keeping tabs on other peoples' lives - Vicarious living, so to speak.
So, I accept friend requests. As long as I'm careful, there's probably no harm. And, it's fun to find out about other peoples' lives.
I've only once thought of deleting a friend - the one person who moved my ranking from 2nd for Scramble down to 3rd. It was actually my son's suggestion, "Why can't you just delete him, Mommy?" "Because that would be petty even though I really want to..." I've since found myself sitting in 6th place, so I've gotten over the unhealthy competition, or maybe just have accepted my limits. Strangely enough, that same person must have deleted me - I only found out when I climbed from 3rd to 2nd and he'd dropped off the rankings and into the "Suggested Friends" list. I question his motivation.
All this goes to say that the FB friends feature has provoked quite a few thoughts on connections, filters, vicarious living, etc. At best, I feel more connected to the world. At worst, all my many friends lull me into a false sense of acceptance in the world. Cheers!
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